At the end of March, 2019, I was let go from a job that honestly, I thought would be the last company I worked for. (that’s a different whine) Most of you probably don’t know – not for any failing on your part but because you’ve got your own crap to deal with – is that I went into an emotional tail spin.
I did not, as I proclaimed loudly on Twitter, “crawl into a bottle of rum for the weekend”. I drink a lot less than I pretend to. :) I did not go into a deep bout of depression. But being fired as a developer shook me to my core. For whatever reason, the company walked away from me and my skills. I was let go from a company where I was doing the one thing I knew I could do well. It’s hard not to take that personally.
I handled this badly. I shut down emotionally. I withdrew from my community of friends. Honestly, I was ashamed, and I did not want to talk to anyone until I could hold my head up high again and proclaim “I AM A DEVELOPER”.
My community, my tribe, my peers, my friends, whatever you want to call them, are there to support me, not judge me. If they are secretly judging me then they really aren’t my friends to begin with.
I’m not out of the woods yet but I am better than where I was. I am now to the point where I can at least talk honestly about my journey. I am better because I didn’t shut everyone out. A few of my friends, continued to reach out, continued to talk to me, and continued to support me, even when I didn’t want them to. That and the continued love and support of the lovely and talented Kathy.
Yes, mistakes were made, but thankfully, I have enough people that love me enough to overlook that mistakes. Those people pulled my out of my hole when all I really wanted was to wallow in it.
To each of you – and you know who you are – thank you.
Until next time,
I <3 |<