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Doing new things scares me

Dear Reader,

I enjoy public speaking. I have learned to enjoy the sound of my own voice. It wasn’t always this way for me. In the early days I was scared to death every time I got up in front of a group. In the early days it was new, and new things scare me.

As I write this, I am preparing for the next Day Camp 4 Developers event. This year marks the 10 anniversary of DC4D. Even still, just before things get going, I still get nervous. Not the scared to death I used to get, but still, nervous enough to be uncomfortable.

I have come to welcome that feeling. That feeling tells me I am doing something new. It signals to me that I’m outside of my comfort zone.

Yes, it is scary, but it’s a good scary.

The great thing about a comfort zone, is getting outside of it.

Until next time,
I <3 |<
=C=

Question Everything?

Dear Reader,

  • We are told to question everything.
  • We are told that there is no such thing as a stupid question.
  • We are told that the only way to learn is to ask questions.

Questions are an invaluable tool in learning; there is no question about that. However, following instructions is an equally important life lesson and one that should be mastered before questioning.

To paraphrase Pablo Picaso “Learn the rules like a pro, so you can question them like an artist.”

Until next time,
I <3 |<
=C=

 

 

It started with an argument

Dear Reader

Every now and then Ester Shindler pops up in my timeline. Every time, I smile.

I’ve never met Ester in person. My first contact with her was when she was Editor-in-Chief of (iirc) CIO magazine. They published an article that was not flattering to PHP and I wrote her to “discuss” it. The details are not important. What is important is that now 10+ years after that incident – an incident that could have gone badly, but because she is such an awesome person did not – I still see her avatar and smile.

Conflicts don’t always have to be a war of words. I know that it is the current thinking that if someone does you wrong – real or perceived – you out them, publicly shame them, bring to bear the full force of your tribe to beat them down.

Next time you are in such a situation, try to understand the other person’s point of view before engaging. Understanding is so important that Steven Covey made it one of the 7 habits.

Lucky for me Ester understood this. She sought to understand my point of view before engaging. Looking back, I wish I had been as wise.

Until next time,
I <3 |<
=C=

Hard for me to say I’m sorry

Dear friend,

The book “Conspiracy” deals with the Hulk Hogan/Gawker trial that eventually bankrupted Gawker.  It is a fascinating case study on hubris. At several points it is pointed out that if Gawker had publicly apologized for publishing the video and for its condescending attitude towards Hogan, things would have turned out very differently for them.

Instead, at one point, about mid-way through the ordeal, they doubled down on their hubris by offering Hogan the opportunity to walk away and they would not sue him for their attorney’s fees.

All they had to do was apologize and they could have saved themselves, yet they couldn’t do it.

This is a problem I struggle with. My ego prevents me from apologizing, even when I know I am wrong. Especially when I know I am wrong.

I was raised better. I know that it is ok to say I am sorry. Growing up, I was encouraged to do so.

I need to return to my roots. I need to return to saying I’m sorry.

Until next time,
I <3 |<
=C=

p.s. Apologies to Chicago for ripping off their lyrics. :)

Do what you love

Dear Reader,

A dive student came up to me and gave me a tip. With it she said, thank you for being there to help us this weekend.

“Thanks but I do this because I love diving.” I replied.

“We know, that’s why it is fun to train with you”, she said.

We’ve been saying “Do what you love” for years, but we’ve been looking at it the wrong way. Don’t do what you love for you, do what you love for those you touch. When you are doing what you love, you take more care, you are happier, and overall, you are a much nicer person.

Do what you love, but do it for the rest of us.

Until next time,
I <3 |<
=C=